What does it mean to explore your kink authentically?

How do you find what speaks to you in your kink or make your kink play your own?

We've talked about setting intentions for your play, and another part of that is finding your own why's for what you desire.

This is a reminder I often need, and I bet you do too.

Processing pain is different for every bottom. There is no magic trick to help you endure.

But I know that something immensely helpful to me as a masochist bottom has been chatting with other bottoms (and some very helpful tops!) about ways to process and move through my consensually chosen pain. So here are some ways I've processed, endured, and aftercare-d (can we make it a verb?) pain in kink scenes.

Y'all asked how to find your kinks, which is both a simple & complicated answer.

How kinksters find their kinks is as diverse as kinksters themselves…

There are lots of ways to play with sensation! While we'll cover some common types here, it's really an endless category. Think of how we experience our sense of touch -- that's the heart of sensation play & hints at how many possibilities there are to be creative.

Time for some Sensation Play Basics!

SENSATION PLAY is a category of play that explores sensations, whether or not they cause pain, such as temperature, fluffy, scratching, hot wax, tickling, electric, etc…

Ask and you shall receive! I can't believe I almost didn't share an Impact Playlist with y'all, but don't worry! Y'all called me out for missing the opportunity and I made things right. So behold: an Impact Play Playlist, about 50 minutes long so you can do a long warmup into a scene or just jam out for some inspiration…

What elevates a "spanking" to an "impact scene"?

While sometimes impact play is fun just for the sake of trying out the toys/pain/sensations, you can add another level by co-creating a whole scene around your impact. Often times the energy between you and your partner is enough to make a scene, well, a scene. But what else makes that difference?

Kinksters often categorize toys into two major sensations types: thuddy or stingy.

Here are the most common toys that come up in impact play, categorized by sensation, and with some basic detail about what they're like & how to use them.

Impact Play is play where individuals play with consensual pain, often through repetitive hitting with implements or hands. Read on for some basic terms, safety, tips, and more!

Kink in many ways is a concentration of imagination for your sexuality. Through kink you can explore so much, imagine so many fantasies, constantly broaden the horizon. It is truly an infinite shuffle of possibilities for pleasure.

When we talk about education we often forget to mention the phase of learning where you integrate. I love this description of that integration — letting the knowledge swell inside of you, because if you just learn learn learn it becomes hollow. This is especially critical, I believe, with sexuality education.