Processing pain is different for every bottom. There is no magic trick to help you endure.

But I know that something immensely helpful to me as a masochist bottom has been chatting with other bottoms (and some very helpful tops!) about ways to process and move through my consensually chosen pain. So here are some ways I've processed, endured, and aftercare-d (can we make it a verb?) pain in kink scenes.

There are lots of ways to play with sensation! While we'll cover some common types here, it's really an endless category. Think of how we experience our sense of touch -- that's the heart of sensation play & hints at how many possibilities there are to be creative.

Time for some Sensation Play Basics!

SENSATION PLAY is a category of play that explores sensations, whether or not they cause pain, such as temperature, fluffy, scratching, hot wax, tickling, electric, etc…

Ask and you shall receive! I can't believe I almost didn't share an Impact Playlist with y'all, but don't worry! Y'all called me out for missing the opportunity and I made things right. So behold: an Impact Play Playlist, about 50 minutes long so you can do a long warmup into a scene or just jam out for some inspiration…

What elevates a "spanking" to an "impact scene"?

While sometimes impact play is fun just for the sake of trying out the toys/pain/sensations, you can add another level by co-creating a whole scene around your impact. Often times the energy between you and your partner is enough to make a scene, well, a scene. But what else makes that difference?

Kinksters often categorize toys into two major sensations types: thuddy or stingy.

Here are the most common toys that come up in impact play, categorized by sensation, and with some basic detail about what they're like & how to use them.

Impact Play is play where individuals play with consensual pain, often through repetitive hitting with implements or hands. Read on for some basic terms, safety, tips, and more!

So we've talked about D/s basics and busted some myths, but what does consensual power exchange look like when it goes beyond the scene? Let’s actually get into the logistics of a “lifestyle” D/s relationship, plus some ideas to stay connected to your dynamic on a more daily level.

Let's bust some myths today! There's definitely some bad assumptions and misunderstandings out there about D/s relationships (dominance & submission, or consensual power exchange dynamics).

Power Exchange, Consensual Power Dynamics, D/s, or Dominance & Submission, is play where individuals occupy roles that involve exchanging power.

You didn't think I was done at just one playlist did you? I've got music to set all sorts of moods. 😘

Aftercare often deserves its own musical transition to help your mind & body transition from scene → regular life.

This #KinkHowTo is particularly inspired by a conversation with a friend of mine that I had recently. She mentioned to me how she's made it a goal to prioritize aftercare more. Previously she had said "I'm fine" after scenes, but realized that this often led to harder drop & anxiety. She shared that she's actively building practices to make sure she seeks the aftercare she needs…