aftercare tips

This #KinkHowTo is particularly inspired by a conversation with a friend of mine that I had recently. She mentioned to me how she's made it a goal to prioritize aftercare more. Previously she had said "I'm fine" after scenes, but realized that this often led to harder drop & anxiety. She shared that she's actively building practices to make sure she seeks the aftercare she needs. I was like "hell yes this is so relatable" because this is something we can all do! And something we probably all should be doing. 💗

Aftercare (time after the scene ends for one-on-one care & coming down) is a crucial kink practice. Think of it as the bookend to negotiating at the start of a scene — they both need to occur. It involves physical & emotional check-ins, can include physical affection, or even mediation-like practices to bring you back from headspace changes. Aftercare allows us to show care to ourselves & our partner (tops, bottoms, sadists, masochists, dominants, submissives, all of us!). It helps us to address the physical strains of our scene, as well as any emotional effects or coming down from altered states.

You also don't have to do aftercare with the same person you had a scene with if your aftercare needs don't align! It's perfectly okay to have "aftercare buddies" or "substitutes" who can provide physical or emotional needs after a scene if your partner's needs are different. For example: if you need cuddles after play but that isn't a level that your scene partner & you are at, you can cuddle with a friend post-scene after having a more verbal aftercare with your scene partner. Aftercare is flexible! As long as you're making sure to check-in, give care, and ease your way out of scene space.

Swipe below for more info on Aftercare, plus some actual ideas (physical and emotional)!

Let's all start building practices to get and give the aftercare we need. You deserve this care! (And stay tuned for even more aftercare tips throughout this week!)