What does it mean to explore your kink authentically?

How do you find what speaks to you in your kink or make your kink play your own?

We've talked about setting intentions for your play, and another part of that is finding your own why's for what you desire.

Y'all asked how to find your kinks, which is both a simple & complicated answer.

How kinksters find their kinks is as diverse as kinksters themselves…

There are lots of ways to play with sensation! While we'll cover some common types here, it's really an endless category. Think of how we experience our sense of touch -- that's the heart of sensation play & hints at how many possibilities there are to be creative.

Time for some Sensation Play Basics!

SENSATION PLAY is a category of play that explores sensations, whether or not they cause pain, such as temperature, fluffy, scratching, hot wax, tickling, electric, etc…

What elevates a "spanking" to an "impact scene"?

While sometimes impact play is fun just for the sake of trying out the toys/pain/sensations, you can add another level by co-creating a whole scene around your impact. Often times the energy between you and your partner is enough to make a scene, well, a scene. But what else makes that difference?

Impact Play is play where individuals play with consensual pain, often through repetitive hitting with implements or hands. Read on for some basic terms, safety, tips, and more!

Ooohhdamn do I love this quote by @theprincesskali . Remember my post on D/s Myths a few days ago? Enter in this quote as a big reminder about not making assumptions.

Princess Kali said this in an amazing class of hers that I took on erotic humiliation. She was talking about the very important point that you can't assume everyone will make the same meaning out of the same behavior. If you don't find being a puppy humiliating, being told to wag your tail and bark won't make you feel humiliated.

So we've talked about D/s basics and busted some myths, but what does consensual power exchange look like when it goes beyond the scene? Let’s actually get into the logistics of a “lifestyle” D/s relationship, plus some ideas to stay connected to your dynamic on a more daily level.

Power Exchange, Consensual Power Dynamics, D/s, or Dominance & Submission, is play where individuals occupy roles that involve exchanging power.

Let's have some real talk for a moment, y'all. Life was hectic even before the exhaustion of 2020. We have jobs, family, friends, chores around the house, hobbies, the 10 video games I haven't finished yet (just me?), keeping up with the news, random stress & chaos that decides to happen, depression bouts, periods, and a million other things. How on earth can we make time for a play date?

I really want all of you to keep this idea close at all times, particularly if you're new to kink. Your play deserves effort. You deserve effort. Your partner deserves effort.

This #KinkHowTo is particularly inspired by a conversation with a friend of mine that I had recently. She mentioned to me how she's made it a goal to prioritize aftercare more. Previously she had said "I'm fine" after scenes, but realized that this often led to harder drop & anxiety. She shared that she's actively building practices to make sure she seeks the aftercare she needs…